Again and Again and Again

I am being healed. Gently refined. I am being taken back to places I would never ask to go. Places that have taken my breath from me. Left me standing in the presence of my memories of brokenness that dwell there. It is nothing but pure. Pure what I'm not sure. But there is something so perfect about being taking back to the places you never want to remember. It is in those places that you can see yourself. I can see how the Lord has called me from there. How He has stolen my attention for Himself and directed my eyes back to His perfection.And how he has changed the desires of my flesh. I see how Romans 8:7 is Truth. And how I no longer relate to the man in Mark 10:22. I desire to be constantly reminded of this Truth because I know I will forget . I want to be healed in this way again and again and again. This breaking and refining seems to be addictive to my soul. Its hard on me to remember my burdens, but if it is how I get more of Christ, then I want it. And it is. Healing. That is that is being done to my wounds. Softening. That is what is being to done to the hard places I hate to go. Bring me to where I see you. Feed my addiction of seeing Your face again and again and again.

IF IT GETS ME MORE OF YOU, THEN I WANT IT.

And Go Streetwalkin', Streetwalkin' Baby

To someone who has become one of my best friends:

I miss you, Han.  

Just a Glimpse of the Love the Lord is Pouring Out On Me

This is a list of things that have made me smile in the past couple weeks:

• Seeing Brittany Layton early in the morning on a Saturday
• Getting accepted to OSU
• Seeing Kendel Kellogg know the Lord and love her friends
• Every picture message I get from Hannah Smith
• The smell of winter
• My leaders cramming into a booth to visit me at Bob Evans
• Everything about the Lord letting me be a part of Katie Rini's life
• Being brought back to Mark 10:22 often and being continuously healed
• The Lord's desire to be a part of my life
• The feeling I get when I'm sitting on the floor with my laptop at stare up at the top of the Christmas tree
• Reading old blogspot posts

He is showing me His Love. I can't ask for more. I pray that this winter will be a strong one for the Lord and I. Winter is always my hardest season. I pray that He will draw me close and that I would draw near.

Karen

I went shopping with my mom the other day. She has been working in Cincinnati for five weeks and has two more to go before she can come home. She has come back twice to visit for a day, but this weekend she was home for three days in a row.

So anyway, I was shopping with my mom at the department store in search of a new coat for her for the winter time. When I am not the one who is looking for something, shopping seems arduous and boring. I can't say that was true of this trip with mom though. I got to watch her pick out each jacket that had potentially, and see her face as she scanned it for flaws and imperfections. And then each time she found one that passed her first test, she handed it to me until my arms couldn't hold any more. Then we would drag ourselves over to one of those long mirrors they attach to the poles that hold up the ceiling. Those mirrors always let you think you will have enough room to squeeze in and take a full glance of your appearance, but they never quite have enough room.

Mom squeezed her way in front of the mirror and began to try on coats. It was an interesting thing for me to watch. She would put one on, adjust it a million times, shrug her shoulders, scrunch her nose, and muss her hair up. It just surprised me that she stills tries on clothes the same way that teenage girls do. I don't know why this is the first time I've ever noticed it. I guess I thought that that was an insecurity that everybody just eventually grew out of. I assumed that that was just a part of growing up. I hope that doesn't make me ignorant. But I just thought that someday that part of life would be different.

My mom is beautiful. She is beautiful because she is insecure, loving, thoughtful, and vulnerable with me. She takes my advice on silly things and gives me advice on more important things. God showed me that as I watched her in the mirror this weekend. My mom became real and awkward and cute to me this weekend. It was fun to see her be insecure and to get excited when we found things she loved.

My mom loves the Lord. And I get to see that in her face all the time. I thank You that You show me her beauty in her shyness and her strength in her words. I love her.

I Found Some Peace

Today I just want to read and be in the Word. I want to run and listen to Matt. I want to hear Truth and let it stay with me for a while. I have a need to be close today. It's just one of those days when I know what I need. I like these days.

Bobs

Bob Evans.
This is where I work.
This is where I serve.
I serve tables.
A lot of tables.
It blows my mind how plain it is for me to see that I am called there. Sometimes, like everybody else, it is hard for me to see where I am being led to spend my time. My plans and my desires always seem to cloud out any hints to where I am actually supposed to be. Bobs has proven to be different. It is clear that this is where I am supposed to be. I am called to love not only the people who come into Bobs, but mainly the people that work there.

One thing I love about working there is that I stay and close the store every time that I work. It's late for nights when I have school the next day, but it is the best way I can think of to talk to the people I work with. During the day we are running around making sure everything is going okay and food is getting out to tables; but when the restaurant is empty, we have no else but each other to keep ourselves company while we clean.

I see the Lord at Bob Evans Pickerington. I see Him when He gives me time with my co-workers after the doors are closed for the night, I see Him when my schedule for the week is full before it even starts, and I see Him in the friends I have that don't hate me for being at work all the time. He is showing me that He is the best.

He is Good.

Stuck.

I'm stuck but I feel fine. Is that okay?